The 5 Love Languages
So, for those of you who may not know Gary Chapman wrote a lovely book called the 5 Love Languages. The principle of the book was to help people in relationship difficulty. Particularly marriages.
The love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation – using words that build up and encourage.
- Quality Time – giving someone your undivided attention.
- Physical Touch – cuddles, holding hand,
- Acts of Service – laundry anyone?
- Receiving Gifts – It doesn’t have to be expensive, as long as it’s genuine.
Gary then went on to write a book about the 5 Love Languages of Children.
What I appreciate most about understanding the 5 love languages, is that it has given me insight into how my kids “work”. As a single mom, I want my kids to know how much I love them, and how important and amazing they are. But I know I need to express that in a way that makes them feel loved.
My three girls each have different love languages. They are:
- Quality Time and Gifts
- Words of Affirmation and Gifts
- Physical touch and Words of Affirmation
Most often, according to Gary, there are two predominant love languages, with one being more dominant than the other interchangeably.
My oldest daughter, whose love language is quality time, loves it when I do things with her. Going to the movies together, having long meaningful chats together and singing together.
My middle daughter’s love languages are words of affirmation and gifts. She is over the moon even when she gets second hand clothes. She responds very well to encouragement and a kind tone.
My littlest one loves cuddles and when she gets up every morning we have to have a hug together before anything else happens. If we don’t do that, then the rest of the morning is a challenge.
Of course, as Gary Chapman says, parents must operate in all 5 love languages for children. This is because they need all 5, and to completely neglect any one of them would be detrimental.
As a single mom, and a working mom, it’s difficult to find the time to minister to each of these love
languages every day. Trust me, I’ve tried and it’s not possible. But, to make an effort on each one, to practice each love language from your heart is the best place to start.
I decided to make some lunchbox notes for my girls which spoke to their love language. Of course, it gets tricky to write a love note which speaks to the “acts of service” love language, but I think we can be creative. Moms always are!
Because I know you are all very busy moms, I decided to try to make some printable lunchbox notes for you, which you can use at your discretion. For the first in the series, click here.
If you’d like more options, I would love you to subscribe to my newsletter and receive a free downloadable file.
I know how much as mothers, we want to make our kids feel loved. I hope this has been helpful to you in some way.